Letting Go Of The Outcome (Especially After 50)

At some point after 50, many women look up and think:

“I’ve raised humans, survived relationships, hot flushes, and the 80s…  Why am I still worried about getting everything ‘right’?”

If that’s you, you’re definitely not alone.

Have you ever thought:

• You’d love to try something creative… but only if you can be good at it on the first attempt.
• You replay conversations and think, “Why did I say that?”
• You secretly want to paint, write, or share your work, but a voice says, “What if it’s awful?”

Underneath is one really sneaky part of you:

Being very attached to the outcome.

And oh is she bossy.

But what does “attached to the outcome” really mean?

In normal speak, it’s when your brain says:

“If this doesn’t go perfectly, we will die of embarrassment and never recover.”

Or it might sound like:

• “I won’t start painting until I know exactly how it’ll look.”
• “I’d love to join that group, but what if I’m the worst one there?”
• “I want to change things… but what if I fail and everyone sees?”

If you’ve spent decades being responsible, keeping the peace, and making sure everyone else is ok, of course your system likes control. It thinks it’s keeping you safe.

Why It Gets Louder After 50

Around this stage of life, we all start to ask ourselves questions:

• “Is this really how I want the next 20–30 years to feel?”
• "Aren't I supposed to be doing something more meaningful?
• “If not now, when?”

Meanwhile, your inner worrier pipes up with:

• “What if I change and people don’t like it?”
• “What if I try something new and look silly?”
• "What if I make a change and find it's not what I was dreaming about?"

So you get stuck between:

“I want more”
and
“Please let me stay in my comfy pants and not risk anything scary.”

That’s where letting go of the outcome comes in.

Letting go doesn’t mean you've stopped caring

Letting go of the outcome is not giving up or lowering your standards.

It’s more like:

“I’m going to show up, play, create, and be honest…
and I’m not going to let fear of the result boss me around quite so much.”

You still care. You just stop treating every decision like a final exam.

From that place, you can:

• Try a new creative practice without demanding perfection
• Speak up without obsessing over approval
• Make choices based on what feels true, not what looks impressive

Why I use painting for this

A blank canvas brings out all your stuff:

• “Don’t mess it up.”
• “Real artists wouldn’t do it like that.”
• “This is terrible, I should stop.”

That’s why I love it.

Painting gives you a safe way to:

• Make a mark without knowing how it will end
• Survive the “ugly stages” and keep going
• Start again without turning it into a personal failure

How you show up on the canvas often mirrors how you show up in life. If you relax a little with painting, you start to relax a little everywhere else.

About “Letting Go Of The Outcome”

That’s why I created Letting Go Of The Outcome, an online course especially for women (particularly 50+) who are:

• Excellent at looking after everyone else
• Not so good at listening to themselves
• Craving more creativity, freedom, and self‑trust

You don’t need to be “an artist”. If you can hold a brush and cope with a bit of mess and magic, you’re in!

Inside the course, we:

• Notice where you’re gripping tightly to outcomes
• Use intuitive painting as a playground to practice letting go
• Work kindly with the nervous system when it yells “Danger!”
• Bring that new softness and courage into the rest of your life

Read more here:
Letting Go Of The Outcome 

If your shoulders drop a little and you exhale as you read this, take it as a good sign. This next chapter doesn’t have to be about getting it right. It can be about getting it real.